Are cucumbers magical? - Yes, I think so

Can I just say that I am in love with cucumbers lately. My fresh cucumber and cucumber juice craze was brought on by the recent abundance of the fruit that has been showing up in my household this entire summer.

My husband is the sprout house manager at a rejuvenation center that was recently harvesting more cucumbers than its cafe could use before going bad. The garden manager was gifting us about 10 cucumbers a week. I could not eat them fast enough to keep up with the gifts. On top of that, the cucumbers we had grown in our little community garden plot also started exploding and begged to be eaten. I didn't want to waste these vibrant, lovingly and veganically grown beauties so I started juicing them.

I ended up having cucumber juice every day for several weeks, either on its own or as the base form my green shake. I knew cucumber juice was good for me, but there were a few surprising effects that I noticed.

• Relief from premenstrual bloating and any bloating in general
• weight loss
• Softer skin
• More efficient digestion and elimination
  

This really piqued my interest. I started doing a little research on cucumbers and cucumber juice and this is what I learned. Cucumber juice also helps

• Lower extremely high blood pressure.
• Promote hair growth, healthy nails and skin (due to the high silica and sulphur content of the fruit).
• It is a diuretic, so helps with edema, and conditions of the kidney, bladder, pancreas and liver.
• It helps to relieve under eye puffiness when applied topically and may heal skin inflammations when applied directly to affected areas.
• It has a cleaning and toning effect on the skin when applied topically.
• It is cooling to the body in hot weather.
• Could be helpful to diabetics.
• Eating one or two cucumbers daily helps to relive constipation, which is especially useful to pregnant women. (My friend who recently birthed shared that one with me.)
  

These are but a few of the benefits of cucumber juice. I just never realized that it was this beneficial. It is easy on the palate and blends well with almost any other type of vegetable or fruit juice. It is ideal as the principal component of a green juice fast (or any juice fast) given it's low sugar content. Their watery constitution creates a lot of juice, even using a cheap juicer and thus making them very cost efficient for what they can produce.

I am continually stunned at how helpful a daily glass of this amazing juice is to my health. Cucumber juice is truly sunshine for the body.

They are also great eaten fresh with a sprinkle of Himalayan Salt. 1 or 2 whole fresh cucumbers enjoyed this way, daily, will really ease constipation and in the long run contribute to radiant beauty and caloric reduction (they are very filling and hydrating but don't pack on the pounds.) They are easy to carry around in a tote bag or back pack with a small paring knife and a salt shaker. So whether you are at your desk at work or at the mall, you are safety-proofed to have a healthy, inexpensive snack that keeps the vending machine at bay.

If you don't have a juicer, you can slice an average sized cucumber into about 5-7 pieces (with skin) and blend it with a cup of water, herbal tea (cool) or aloe juice and then strain through a strainer or nut mylk bag. (Home Depot has nylon mesh bags in their spray paint section for about 2 bucks each that work perfectly - if you don't want to pay $10 for one like most sites demand.) Store what you don't use in a glass jar in the fridge. By the way this makes an excellent toner for your face...just dab on your freshly cleansed face with a cotton ball. It dries fairly quickly. Wipe surface of the skin with a damp cloth and proceed to moisturize as usual.

Do let me know your experiences with this beautiful non-sweet fruit (yes it is a fruit because it has seeds...just like tomatoes and avocados and olives if you can imagine.)

in peace and cucumber radiance

Eden

The Power of a Green Drink

Now to those of you are avid health afficionados, this blog will not seem revolutionary. You already know the power of your daily green shake. And for those of us who already know this power, it does not stop us from going through periods where we forget it and stop doing it.

Recently I have had a lot of my more mainstream friends and family discover the power of the green shake. So first off...what is the green shake?

The green shake is a drink that is made from a mixture of green algaes and superfoods. It frequently includes fruits and veggies in a concentrated form and may also contain herbs. It is a nutrient dense meal-in-one that is a great substitute for synthetic vitamins. It can be made more palatable by blending with fruit juice, non-dairy mylks, natural sweeteners and or fruit.

What is the point of the green shake?

• There is more nutrition in one of these green shakes than most Americans get in a week, or even a month, of eating food.

• The quantity, quality, variety and depth of nutrition in one shake, gives your body a lasting hit of energy and vitality that promotes clarity, well-being and weight loss. It helps to prevent overeating by eliminating cravings for junk food and hunger caused by malnutrition. When I say malnutrition I am speaking of starvation not from lack of calories, but from lack of real nutrients that fuel the body's myriad of physiological functions and that allow the anatomy to remain in top shape.

• It is full of antioxidants, phytonutrients and immune boosters that are impossible to attain from the SAD (Standard American Diet). These are all vital for reversing and preventing chronic degenerative diseases, the accelerated aging process and cancers.
  

• The superfoods in it have such potent levels of nutrition and biological impact on all systems of the body that just small amounts of powder actually go a long way. It would be impossible to eat the equivalent amount of fruits and vegetables that it would take to get that much nutrition. In an ideal world we would be able to, but our food is so modified and our soils are so depleted, that we must rely on dietary supplementation to meet our deepest nutritional requirements for optimal life.

What are the benefits of the green shake?

• Weight control
• Reduce cravings
• More energy
• Mood enhancement
• Better workouts
• Quicker recovery from workouts
• Mental Clarity
• Convenient (blend, bottle and go) - works well for people constantly on the run who don't have time to stop and eat a proper meal. This is a great natural fast food alternative.
• Clearer skin
• Look younger
• Improved immune system - you will less frequently get sick.

So what goes in a green shake?

There are two ways to do this.

1. Pre-mixed Green Superfood blends

There are multiple pre-mixed green blends out on the market that in and of themselves make a great base for a green drink. In and of themselves they are a great way to start. The usual dosage is 2 tablespoons per drink, and one drink per day is a good start. A second drink to beat that afternoon slump is also highly beneficial. Carrying around an empty jar (with lid) for easy shaking on the go is something you may want to consider if you can't get to your blender. You can easily blend these with juice or water. Fruit can be added if desired. My favorite brands are:

• Healthforce Nutritionals' Vitamineral Green
• Dr Schulze's Superfood
• The Synergy Company's Pure Synergy
• Dragon Herb's Tonic Alchemy
• Sunfood Nutrition's Sun Is Shining

2. Make your own shake

This is probably an even more effective method. You tend to make a much bigger shake this way, and get to control what goes in it, how much depending on your body's response and it is quite honestly a convenient way to work with what you've got. It also allows you to buy individual components in bulk when you need them, which ultimately reduces the cost of your shake over time.

The Essentials

Green algaes - Either Spirulina, Chlorella and or AFA's (E3 Live is a great brand)
Maca (2-4 tablespoons)
Hemp Seeds or hemp protein powder (2-4 tablespoons)

Add ins
Raw cacao (chocolate powder) (2 tablespoons)
Bee Pollen (2 tablespoons)
Camu Camu (1 teaspoon)
Goji Berries (One handful)
Acai Berry Powder (1 tablespoon)
Lucuma Powder (2 tablespoons)
Tocotrienols (2 tablespoons)
Aloe vera Juice (1/2 cup)
Turmeric powder (1 tablespoon)
Burdock Root (1 tablesoon)
Ginseng powder (1/2 teaspoon)
Cordyceps powder (1/2 teaspoon)
Reishi capsules (2)

Liquid Bases
-Water
-Reishi Tea
-Herbal Tea infusions (chamomile, rooibos, rosemary, nettle, oatstraw, gingko, sage - all are great combined or separate)
- Cucumber juice
- Fruit juice (unless you're diabetic)
- carrot juice
- celery juice
- hemp mylk

Alternative Sweeteners
Agave nectar
Yacon Syrup
Artichoke Root inulin
stevia (powder or extract)

Use the appropriate ingredients from each category according to your pantry and or your budget, blend and enjoy.


Where Can I Get My Green Shake Ingredients?

• www.sunfood.com or 888-729-3663

• www.awakenedshoppe.com or 520-394-2520 ext 212 or 221

• Whole Foods Market

• www.amazon.com

• www.naturalzing.com or 301-703-4116

Even if you hate the taste of this. You will definitely find this drink to be beneficial in your body and will actually grow to like the taste of it over time. Don't feel alone in this. My good friend Peter called it the "death shake" and claimed that the taste was enough to kill a lab rat. But...he's still drinking it because he has benefitted so much from it. In fact, it has helped him so much that his sister and her friends and family are on it. He also talked a few people at his office to start doing it too.

My sister swears by it. It helps her energy levels, mental clarity and she finds she gets better workouts with it - this is coming from a law student who moonlights as a model.

I share these examples from mainstream people so that you don't get discouraged and think that this could only help vegans or hippie granola types.

Just start getting that nutrition in and feel good.

in peace and health

Eden

My Favorite Face Mask

I recently had a sudden skin inflammation caused by seborrheic dermatitis that had me in the kitchen mixing up all kinds of concoctions night and day. The condition is characterized by redness, sensitivity and dryness or flakiness. To make matters worse it was on my face and hairline, so it's not like I could just go around in a long sleeved shirt and jeans and call it a day.

It turns out that this is a common skin and scalp condition that many people experience. It is a mild form of yeast. Why on earth would I be sharing this personal information on my blog you may wonder? Well, I am trying to keep it real. There is a certain level of transparency that is freeing to self and others. Maybe this will help other people find relief too, saving them from hours of concocting in their kitchens, or worse, experimenting with crazily toxic over the counter creams that may not even work.

After a few hits and misses I stumbled upon the following mixture which not only healed my condition, but had my skin looking the best it had looked in recent memory. So this is the basic recipe;

2 Tablespoons raw honey
1 teaspoon turmeric
1 teaspoon neem powder
1 teaspoon noni powder
1 tablespoon aloe juice or gel (optional)
1/2 teaspoon EM 1 (optional)

Mix all ingredients together into a paste and apply to clean skin, spreading evenly over face, neck and any other affected areas. Leave the mask on for at least an hour, and for up to 4 hours if possible - especially if you are experiencing an outbreak. Rinse with cold water and a clean face cloth. Rub gently until you have removed all remnants of the mask. Do not wash face with soap after this. Proceed with your regular beauty regimen (toning and moisturizing) as usual. I prefer to just add a few drops of a dry oil like baobab or melon seed ( check out www.sheaterraorganics.com for these lovely oils) with a dash of essential oil after this.

For regular beauty maintenance, just a half hour daily or min. 3 times weekly is very beneficial.

You will notice that you will have less outbreaks, reduced inflammation, wonderful hydration and moisturization and a nice glow on which your friends are sure to complement you.

You may also find that washing your face with soap less often (a few times a week ) and using witch hazel on a cotton ball as a substitute cleanser in between washings may help. I found that my skin does not respond well to total elimination of soap or cleanser. But there are many people out there, with more normal skin, that do better by eliminating soap/ cleansers all together. It is just to drying for the skin and destroys the delicate acid mantle that actually acts as a protective barrier for your face.

My favorite cleansers are castille soap bars (www.annelees.com has a great selection), Lluvia has an excellent Botanical Facial Cleanser (get it from www.amazonherb.net ) and so does the ISUN line. ISUN's phyto-cleanse I for mature and or dry skin and II for oily and younger skin. (check out the Tree of Life's Culture of Life Shop at www.awakenedshoppe.com or you may call in your order at 520-394-2520 ext 221 or ext 212).

The honey in the mask I think is one of the key ingredients. It hydrates, exfoliates and kills all bad things (antimicrobial, antifungal, and antibacterial). It also has a ton of enzymes, and glycolic acid that help to remove dead skin from the surface, to reveal the fresh new skin beneath.

Noni and neem are also very antibacterial and antifungal, and are both known for healing skin conditions. Turmeric has been used for ages by indian women both internally and externally for beautifying skin and creating a vibrant complexion.

EM 1 is chock full of probiotics, which I think helps to soften the skin and eat harmful bacteria off of the affected areas.

Aloe soothes inflammation, hydrates and promotes collagen synthesis.

If you are in a pinch for ingredients, just the raw honey on its own will work.

Feel free to mix and match and give me feedback on how this works for you.

peace, love and beauty

Eden

Making Apricot Jam with Irish Moss

So I’ve been wanting to make desserts with irish moss for an age, but have hesitated. I have frankly been a little intimidated by it. Last week, however, I got introduced to the trick of working with Irish Moss by my friend Shanti, who frankly speaking is a food prep avatar. “Why would I want to make desserts with seaweed?” you may ask. How bizarre.

Well irish moss when mixed and blended has a gelatinous quality that is ideal to add to a variety of vegan dishes where ordinarily certain textures could only be achieved by eggs, gelatin or various other animal products which vegans make a choice to not consume. It is also much more nutritionally beneficial than both the plant-based and animal based alternatives.

It is chock full of minerals and B Vitamins. It is great for treating lung conditions. The plant actually looks like bronchioles, the little passages in our lungs. Used topically it is extremely beautifying – creating very hydrated, soft and glowing skin. It is also useful in treating any imbalances of the mucous membranes because of its high content of mucilaginous matter.

It is a great binder and thickener for soups, sauces, smoothies, jams and desserts. Usually very little is required to create the desired effect so it also has the appeal of being relatively tasteless in the dishes in which it is incorporated.

It is also great for raw foodists, because it can be used in its live, and most nutritionally potent form.

Anyway, getting back to the issue of how to actually use it. First of all. I have never encountered any plant food as dirty and gritty as Irish Moss. You have to wash it and scrub it and soak it at least 3 times before it is ready for use. Having completed that task, you want to whip together a small portion (Maybe one cup) of the seaweed in what I will call “glob” form. I realize that is not a very elegant word but that is what it looks like.

Place 1 part irish moss to 3 parts water in a blender. Blend until smooth. This will probably take about two minute rounds in a high powered blender (like VitaMix or Blendtec) and longer in a regular blender.

Pour this mixture into a glass container with an airtight lid and store until you are ready to use it. It should keep, stored in this manner, for about 3 to 4 weeks.

To make apricot jam you will need:

1 cup dried organic unsulphured apricots

2-3 tablespoons agave or your favorite sweetener

2 tablespoons irish moss (glob)

½ teaspoon cardamom

1 teaspoon cinnamon

½ teaspoon ginger (optional)

Soak the apricots overnight in just enough water to cover. Drain the apricots the next day and keep the soak water. Add the drained soaked apricots, sweetener, spices, irish moss and about ¼ cup of the soak water to a blender. Blend until smooth. You may need to add more water if the consistency is too thick for your tastes. If it is too thin add more apricots or irish moss. Play with the flavor until it suits your tastes.

Of course other kinds of fresh or dried fruit can be substituted for apricots, and the glob makes a really great face mask too.

This jam can also be used to make salad dressing. Just add a few tablespoons to oil, vinegar and appropriate spices

Have fun, and do let me know what your experiences are playing with irish moss.

Why Don't I Do Yoga More?

So this morning I was feeling kind of strange. Just a touch melancholy or sensitive perhaps, yet still withdrawn enough from the emotion to be able to witness it. I was in one of my favorite places (The sprout house at the Tree of Life) with one of my favorite people alive on the planet (my husband Andrews, who also happens to be the Sprout House manager). Why did I feel so strange. I was neither tired nor hungry. I'm not pre-menstrual. What was up?

Well after my morning of service I thought I would just do yoga when I got home. Having neglected my practice for so long, I just couldn't bear to "go there" by myself, so I turned to the Candlelight yoga video from Netflix (Gotta love instant play), got out my yoga mat and meditation cushion and went for it.

Boy was I glad I did. It is amazing the presence and the focus that came back instantly. And the usual question came up. Why don't I do yoga more often? Why don't I just resume my practice?

On mornings that I do practice, my day always goes so much better. It is not that better things are happening, but it is my response to things that change. My character changes. My body changes. I have less aches and pains and have an ability to actually relax during physically and mentally stressful situations. Yoga works on me in ways I cannot fully explain or control. It reaches all the parts of my body and psyche that have been cramped, closed, unexercised, unfreed.

It is said that in addition to working on muscles and joints, yoga is one of the few (I'm not sure about this but it might be the only, besides other things like Tai Chi and Qi Gong) that works on the glands. So it changes the body process. But what is so amazing to me about yoga is that it is one of the few excercises that actually works on the chakras. And you can feel it.

I remember the first time I noticed the effects of yoga, it was in the wayback - (About 5 years ago when I had a regular practice.) I was working at a lah-de-dah 5-star hotel in a busy department where we had to be efficient, fast and gracious and make it look easy at the same time. Basically it was like being a duck in water, as my friend would say, where you are paddling for all you are worth under the water, but on the surface you just appear to be effortlessly gliding.

Prior to yoga, I was able to put on the appearance of being unruffled but inside buttons were being pushed with every mini-drama that appeared on my tv. Post-yoga, it was as if I were a ninja, samurai or a character in the matrix. I was focused and present and calm no matter what happened. I first noticed that when i all of a sudden realized that 10 things just happened that ordinarily would piss me off, and that I had barely even noticed them. I was no longer reacting to every stimulus. I would just respond appropriately with the called for energy and action without getting swept up in the urgency or emotion of the situation.

My co-workers commented on my composure frequently but I never knew really what they were talking about until that moment. Now I am not saying that yoga is a cure-all for freak-outs. It just helps...tremendously. The frequency, duration and intensity of crises seems to diminish.

I find that to be true today. When I am more regular with my practice, I am more loving, grounded, non-judgmental, and responsive as opposed to reactionary. I have more energy, but more importantly, the ability to focus that energy into appropriate activity increases.

You would think that all this would motivate me to surrender to practicing more often instead of nurturing my resistance, but it does not. Knowing that it benefits me seems to not be enough. I think that my resistance can only be cured in the yoga itself. The deeper I get into the practice - showing up on a regular basis, the more I find myself being drawn to go. The more I stay away, the less I want to go and stay in the "should go" space.

I find myself blogging about this today because I am hoping that bearing this aspect of my personal struggle will motivate me to show up more for myself. My truer self. My warrior self, that never judges me for being away for so long, but always welcomes with open arms, a warm smile and a "Greetings my old friend. I am so glad to have you back."

I would love to hear what motivates any of you to show up regularly for your yoga practice. What is the source or nature of your resistance? I think this would be a great discussion between regular practitioners and those who are just interested.

Namaste

Eden

Totally Guiltless Chocolate Superfood Treats

Totally Guiltless Chocolate Superfood Treats

Chocolate is a weakness for many of us, myself included. In the past we would indulge carefully, or not carefully but with a twinge of guilt. At last we can put that behind us. It has been proven that chocolate is actually a longevity food.

Recently I watched a David Wolfe video on You Tube where he mentioned a lady in France who was an advanced centenarian (122 years old!) Anyway, it seems she didn't do anything remarkable for her health except for the following – she ate at 2 1/2 pounds of chocolate every week. Not milk chocolate or any of the overly sugary varieties. She ate bitter unsweetened Baker's chocolate.

It turns out that raw chocolate from the raw cacao bean is the healthiest for your body. Raw chocolate scores higher on the ORAC ( a measurement of a food's antioxidant potential/ content) ratings than red wine, green tea or blueberries. It also contains a very high amount of essential minerals like magnesium and calcium, to name but a few. It has its share of neurotransmitters that create feelings of well being like dopamine and anandamide and the molecule PEA which is associated with joy.

Chocolate can help to suppress appetite, so is useful for weight loss. It has received a bad rap in the past because it is so often mixed with ingredients that aren't the best ever for your health like dairy and refined sugar, and it is these two culprits to which most people have such negative reactions including weight gain, mood swings and skin breakouts.

Well below are 2 wonderful chocolate treats that are made from raw cacao and mixed with good oils (like coconut oil and cacao butter) and superfoods like bee pollen and maca. I know I have yet to talk about the benefits of these other foods, but I promise to address those in future blogs. I have also used alternatives to sweeten, like lucuma powder (dehyradrated and powdered fruit that is extremely high in beta carotene), carob powder, coconut crème and agave. Some of these things we don't traditionally think of as sweet, but they do have a natural sweetness to them that enhances your sweet dishes while still adding nutrition and not ricocheting your blood sugar levels.

So enough with the background talk. Here are the recipes.

Guiltless Chocolate Fudge
These are all approximate measures. The key is to make it taste good so don't get to obsessed about the quantities. Just sort of stay within these ratios and adjust according to your own taste and availability of ingredients.

1 - 1 ½ cups cacao nibs ground to a powder in a blender or coffee grinder
1 cup of cacao powder
1 cup of lucuma powder
1 cup of carob powder
1 cup of coconut crème (Artisana, Vivapura, Wilderness Family Naturals or soak 1 cup of coconut flakes overnight and then blend to as fine a cream as possible with a high speed blender)
1 cup coconut oil
1cup melted cacao butter (optional but a really nice touch)
1 tablespoon vanilla powder
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
2-3 tablespoons agave, powdered stevia or xylitol to sweeten.
Use a double boiler or 2 bowls (a larger one with piping hot water and the smaller one placed inside it to melt ingredients.

Melt the cacao butter, coconut oil and coconut crème together until sufficiently melted. Add all the powders to the melted oil mixture and stir until well mixed.

At this point add your vanilla powder and extract, then add your sweetener one tablespoon at a time until it tastes sufficiently sweet for you. You should not have to add very much because the coconut, carob and lucuma are also sweet.

Pour mixture into one or several glass/ pyrex serving dish, to the depth that you prefer.

You can layer with your favorite chopped nuts, goji berries or coconut flakes, if desired or you can sprinkle those on top.

Place dish(es) in the fridge until hardened. Cut into chunks and serve, or store in a container between sheets of wax paper.

This is a great alternative to candy to have around the house for whenever your sweet tooth attacks. It also makes a popular treat for potlucks and parties. (By the way, coconut oil is also quite slimming)

Raw Superfood Hot Chocolate
(for 2)

3 Tablespoons raw cacao powder
1 tablespoon carob powder
½ tablespoon raw vanilla powder
3 tablespoons bee pollen
2 tablespoons agave or raw honey
(or you could use a few drops of stevia extract or 1 tablespoon of xylitol)
1 ½ tablespoons maca
1 small chunk of cacao butter OR 2 tablespoons hempseeds
2 cups of warm – hot herbal tea or warm nut/ coconut mylk

(my favorite teas for this recipe are reishi, rooibos, rose, tulsi, mint, green tea
also, you can easily make coconut milk by blending coconut flakes or dessicated coconut with water and straining.)

Place all ingredients in a blender and blend until creamy. Serve and enjoy. This is such a heart opening drink and is a perfect pick me up before creative work or connecting with your mate or children. It is also a great winter time party drink. You could also make this cold by using ice tea or adding ice cubes to the final product. Feel free to add other superfoods or super herbs to this, like a ¼ teaspoon of ginseng, cordyceps or two opened capsules of mixed (or just your favorite) medicinal mushrooms)

Above all, have fun with your guiltless chocolate treats and let me know how it turns out for you.

The Power of a Name

So recently I decided to change my name. In all honesty, this was something I decided some years ago but never quite followed through with it. As I continued along my spiritual path, and life unfolded for me in unexpected ways, I felt that the vibration of my birth name, and all the herstory tied to it, was holding me back from the person life was asking me to become.

I went through the vacillation of deciding if I should change it. What would my family think? Coming from an African family, I did not think that culturally that would go over so well. I thought they would take it personally. Then I decided that I would just honor me.

Then I went through the journey of what name should I take and how should I choose it. I decided that a name from the Essene tradition that I was studying and felt strong resonance with would be most appropriate, based on what I was feeling.

So I literally sat at my computer, hooked up to the internet and started scrolling down lists of Hebrew names for girls. I found two that I liked; Eden (paradise, referring to the garden in the Torah that was Adam and Eve's first home) and Ganya (garden). What appeals to me most about the Essene path is the call to continually live in a way that upgrades myself, my family, my community and the planet to the vibration of the Garden of Eden. It is a call to restore the earth to that vibration and it is the continual journey towards that reality.

I think that there were one or two people who were very condemning of my choosing such a name. There was a subtle judgment that came across – that I was choosing the name from a point of vanity. It was almost a way of saying that I don't deserve to call myself such a name. Hmmm. What an interesting reception from people who I thought would most understand. You'd think that I had said that I was changing my name to God.

I decided that I would wait until I left the community I was in and change my name when I returned to LA. But there I vacillated too. And in the interim I was able to come to a place of healing with my family that did not create as compelling an urge to change my name. Something about transcending the family dramas made wearing my birth name feel more natural once again. The escapist compulsion had dissipated.

I still liked the name Eden Ganya though, and thought that I would at least keep it as a writing name. I justified it by saying that not writing under my actual name would protect me from excess vanity and becoming over identified with my work. Then writing would be just something that I did, not something that I perceive myself to be.

Then I got married. I did not want to take my husband's name. That did not feel comfortable to me and not something I have ever been into. My husband was not comfortable with us having different names. After all we were going to be a family – at least of two. What would happen if we have kids? He felt that everyone in the family should have the same name. I could understand that. So he suggested that we both change our last name to one of our mutual choosing. That felt good to me so we went with that.

So again with the name changing process. This time it involved several conversations. We wanted to combine both our heritages into one name. I am of Shona (a Zimbabwean ethnicity) descent, and he is of Irish, Scottish and Swedish descent. On our second date, we watched the movie Million Dollar Baby. Clint Eastwood's character had a pet name for Hilary Swank's character, that became her boxing name – Mo Chuisle. He doesn't tell her what it means until the very end of the movie when he tells her that it means (his translation) “My darling, my blood.” A touching tribute to the power of the family that you make, and not that you're born into. She is obviously like a daughter to him.

The more commonly held translation of mo chuisle is my heart, my pulse. Either way....we liked the chuisle part of it. And as a woman of color, it did not sound too far off for me that I could not relate to it. For the Shona part of it we ended up on kuda – the verb for “to love.” It is also a noun that means will, and frequently shows up as the first name and phrase kudakwashe (Divine will, or Will of God)

So our first choice of name became Chuislekuda (pronounced Kweeshla-Kooodah) Love's heartbeat or Love's Divine Will. We thought, oh my goodness. Our kids will hate us. No one will ever be able to pronounce or spell our name. We thought about other choices, but everything came back to that. The first name ended up being the one that stuck.

So I got a get out of jail free card. By getting married I did not have to worry about navigating the drama of changing my family name. Given my new relationship with my family and the fact that I never detested my first name from birth, I decided to keep Fadzo as my middle name. It seems like a nice connection to my past, my culture and my blood family. I never liked my original middle name anyway (Patience....hmmmm) Keeping Fadzo as a middle name has the inadvertent advantage of allowing people to still call me Fadzo, without me having to correct them.

I am also learning in this process of changing my name that there is an aspect of me that loves to hide. This name change is very balancing for me for it forces me to put myself out there in a fuller way. Eden is not really a hiding name. Eden feels different from Fadzo. It is certainly a touch more flamboyant. Eden is not a name for shrinking violets. So wearing the name Eden is going to shift my life in ways I can't even imagine. This is the power of a name.

I would love to hear from those of you who are considering this journey or have already undergone it. I would also love to hear from women who have changed their maiden name upon marriage and how they feel it has impacted their identity or the way they self identify.

Peace, love and blessings to you all

Eden